The Friday Diet Coke Shortage—An Emergency of Epic Proportions

I am running low on Diet Coke and it shows. I already have a nervous twitch, and soon, I will probably start foaming around the mouth in a snarly fit of withdrawal. If my husband knows what is good for him, he will hit the EZ Mart on his way home and relieve my pitiful suffering.

You probably won’t believe it, but I actually gave up Diet coke a few times in my life. When Demon Baby was born, I gave it up as I frantically tried everything I could think of to sooth his demonic tendencies. I also gave it up when I got pregnant with Youngest, out of abject fear that he would be Demon Baby-the-sequel.

But, alas, my old vice always makes its’ way back into my life, because me and Diet Coke, we go way back. I actually lived off Diet Coke and blueberry PopTarts in middle school, though I have since managed to break up with the PopTarts. I miss them terribly, but I guess that’s the price I have to pay to keep my rear end from getting its’ own zip code. I have broken up with a lot of foods this year…Little Debbies, Fruity Pebbles, Ben and Jerry’s and s’mores…but me and Diet Coke seem stuck with each other. My mom was the same way with Tab when she was my age, but she had the will to switch to the cheap stuff. I, unfortunately, do not. I have accepted that…or at least I have at this moment as I eyeball my last Diet Coke like the addict that I am.

I don’t smoke, I don’t drink to excess (well, not too often anyway), I seem to have the over-eating thing under control, and I don’t even watch soaps. But you try and take away my Diet Coke, and you will draw back a nub.

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