Month: August 2012

Coping with Fear

This has been a long week, and was definitely not the way I envisioned spending the last week of summer vacation with my kids. I won’t go into the gory details, but the basic rundown is that we experienced a burglary, which triggered a series of events that ended in a frightening confrontation, one which put me and the Heathens in real danger. These events played out here at our home, in front of my children. G-Man actually had to run for the phone so I could call 911, and guard his sister until the police came, which is an experience no ten year-old boy should have.

Since this happened, I’ve been struggling with how to help my kids process these events. At their ages, my boys are old enough to know that bad things happen. However, they understand this concept the same way that they understand that there are pyramids in Egypt…only because someone told them about it. They’ve never experienced anything truly frightening firsthand, let alone something that robbed them of that childlike certainty that Home is always a safe place. Sure, they’ve been scared of thunderstorms, loud noises, and the dark, but we’ve always been there to assure them not to worry, because we are always safe, tucked inside our warm and happy house.

In the immediate aftermath, I did my best to reassure the boys that everything was fine, but I’m not naïve enough to think that they didn’t notice that I was distracted and tense, as I waited for word from the police that the danger had passed. Even if I had an Oscar-winning acting ability, the fact that we were on lockdown kind of clued them in.

Eventually, the situation was resolved, at least temporarily, but then came the larger task of getting our home back into some semblance of normal. We’ve been doing this the only way we know how: the comfort of togetherness and routine. My husband played the same game he does with them every day. I cranked up my kitchen stereo, and cooked dinner to the tunes of Bob Marley, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Mumford & Sons, while the Heathens wandered in and out of the kitchen and my husband danced Bean around the house….just like we do every evening. Maybe French Toast wasn’t the most healthy dinner choice, but it sure was comforting. We snuggled in bed to watch a movie, and then kept the same bedtime routine we’ve had every night this summer. By night’s end, I think we made definite progress in healing the damage of that awful day.

Things have improved this morning, and we’re staying busy by readying ourselves for the first day of school tomorrow. Though we feel better, the Heathens still notice the subtle changes that have stolen into our routine. G-Man wondered why he couldn’t take out the trash without my supervision, and Bear keeps asking why I have the phone with me all the time.

So, yeah, it’s been a long week, but school starts tomorrow, giving my oh-so-bored kids plenty to keep them occupied…which in turn, keeps them from trying to beat each other to death with foam swords.

For these small things, I am grateful.

Just So You Know

JC Penney is offering FREE haircuts for kids through the entire month of August. After selling my soul for the cost of school clothes, shoes, and supplies (remember the $20 pens and the lime notebook?), free haircuts were a much-needed blessing. My poor scraggly boys no longer look like they got beat in their heads with a weed-whacker.

If your kid could use a little sprucing up for the new school year, a free haircut is definitely the way to go.

Just make sure to tip your stylist…you don’t want to be a tacky, classless floozy, now do you?

Lessons in Gratitude

As a mom, I always try to strike a balance with my kids. From toys to treats, video game time to reading, I try to temper their blessings with a fair amount of chores or responsibility. I want them to see that life in our family is a team effort to which we all contribute. I don’t want to be a Nazi mom, but at the same time, I also don’t want to raise a brood of lazy man-children with delusions of self-entitlement. Finding this balance is often difficult, because being the bad guy all the time wears thin. Despite my efforts, I feel like my boys still need real reminders about how blessed they are, and to not take things for granted.

Right about dinnertime last night, I heard a knock at our front door. Two boys, probably about thirteen years-old, were pushing a lawn mower from house to house through our neighborhood, and offered to mow our lawn for $10. What’s remarkable about this situation was that these young men were willing to work hard in the 107 degree heat, for less than what the average person spends on lunch. With only one mower, our yard could easily take a couple of hours to cut, but they were willing to do it anyway. Inspired by their efforts, my husband offered them $20, and let them use our mower as well, so they could do the job in half the time. Meanwhile, I set glasses of ice water on the porch for them and went back to making dinner.

Did they do the best job ever? Well, no. Did they more than earn their $20? Absolutely. As my husband paid them, he asked what could possibly motivate them to slog away in the 107 degree heat, because he wanted to praise their entrepreneurial efforts. I think we both were expecting some goal that would be typical of a 13 year-old boy, like a new video game or skateboard.

You know what their answer was?

School supplies.

Yep, these 13 year-old boys were mowing lawns in the crippling heat so that their family could buy school supplies. Upon hearing this, I think my boys learned a very valuable lesson. They saw kids having to work for things that they needed, not just for treats or play money. They saw that school supplies, something that seems as much of a given as school itself, are actually a real and often costly responsibility. Mostly, I think they got a reminder that they are blessed…one that didn’t come from their harping mother.

Can’t beat that with a stick.