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Finding Joy When It Feels Impossible

There are very few times when I’m at a loss for words. The past month has definitely been one of them. On Mother’s Day, which also happened to be G-Man’s 21st birthday, we woke up to the unimaginable. We lost our nephew in a tragic accident; he was also 21.

The days that followed were exhausting, with lots of travel, phone calls, logistics, and heartache, while still trying to keep up with school events for the last days of Bean’s elementary school career. Thanks goodness we have a village that kept the proverbial gears turning so we could be where we needed to be. While we got her across the fifth-grade finish line, the missed birthday celebrations for G-Man and the Husband will be on hold for a while.

It’s hard to think about celebrating and gratitude when the people you care about are going through the worst tragedy imaginable. Our nephew was incredibly kind, ridiculously humble, and was taken from his siblings and parents far too soon. I just don’t have any words for the kind of pain they are going through. How do you process a beautiful life cut short?

But, in spite of all of this, I can still find gratitude this summer. When I woke up G-Man that Sunday to tell him the news, and that Husband and I were leaving to head south within minutes, he understood. I’m sure losing your 21st birthday party is disappointing, especially knowing there’s no back-up plan anytime soon. Yet he simply said, “I’m good, y’all go.” Bean understood when I told her that we would be there for graduation but would have to miss most of the other school events that week. Bear let it slide when I blew up at him over the lost guest bathroom hand towels (because at the time, I convinced myself the lack thereof was the end of the damn world when we had family coming to stay). When the crap hits the fan, I’m grateful the Heathens have perspective beyond their years when it comes to crap like this.

Once the dust settled, we went down to my uncle’s camp and the fishing was both therapeutic and fantastic.

Spending mornings on the water and nights on the porch brought both joy and peace. That was both welcome and difficult. Trying to resume “normal” life after loss always is, because when you are caught in the gravity of grief, you often feel like time should have stopped. There’s a certain sense of guilt that lingers until you remember that we honor those we lost by telling the stories, keeping the memories alive, and not by stagnating on principle.

It’s hard to imagine not seeing him, teasing him, or watching him get married or starting a family. Our nephew was an avid fisherman, hard worker, and a gentle soul. Senseless loss cuts deep.

So, for now, we will focus on finding joy, cherishing those we love, and putting one foot in front of the other.

But damn. This f-ing sucks.

 

 

 

 

Cultivating an Ever-Expanding Skillset

So, this week, I wanted to talk more about the how’s and why’s of my reasons for leaning into new homemaking/cooking/”old-fashioned” skills. In my recent 20% Better post, I described the basic rationale as to why we are baby-stepping our way toward improvements around our home toward  supporting local economy and sustainability.

Ok, but before we get there, I do want to emphasize that there is no right or wrong way to approach homemaking (well, unless you believe Miracle Whip is mayonnaise…well, then, we need to stage an intervention on your behalf…I’m just sayin’ is all). I think any conversation about homemaking, sustainability, slow food, shopping local, etc. need to eject the tendency to assign dichotomous value systems. If we start labeling things as good or bad, right or wrong, all or nothing, we often end up with a myopic viewpoint that sanctifies one idea while demonizing another, and we end up being exclusionary and unattainable rather than inclusive and accessible.

Let’s be real for a second. The ability to try new recipes, bake fresh bread, learn about pasta, canning, knitting, sewing, gardening, entertaining and countless other things all come down fundamentally to privilege. The privilege of time, access to resources, or both. I’m at a season in life where I have more time; I no longer have colicky babies, terrible-two’s toddlers, or full-time employment. I have the PRIVILEDGE of time in a way I did not have in the past, so I can devote it to experimenting and learning. Likewise, I have the resources or access to resources to learn, reliable sourcing to fresh, quality food, and ready transportation. Many people do not.

So, what’s my point here? I think when I talk about the value of growing in homemaking skills to ME, I never want to insinuate that it has some warped universal intrinsic moral value. If we romanticize “old-fashioned,” or elevate “handmade” in such a way that we are alienating others or creating a one-right-way mentality, we’ve missed the forest for the trees. To me, homemaking means cultivating a relatively happy, reasonably healthy, personably hospitable place where you want to be and to share with your peeps. To cast any homemaking endeavor as an all-or-nothing, good/bad thing means that we are probably missing the point entirely.

So, now that I’m off my soapbox, I want to recap some of my efforts so far, and what’s on the horizon. This year, I’ve tackled my sourdough phobia, and it’s going fantastic. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve experienced quite a few abject failures, but I learned something new each time. Once I got into the grove, I’ve worked bread baking into my weekly routine and let’s just say, the others in this household are quite happy with this.

Going with the “ever-expanding skillset” mentality, I have also baked sooooo many new-to-me cookies and cakes, experimented with fresh pasta, and am giving an embarrassingly poor effort at spinning wool into yarn. I am about to venture into wood-fired pizza, curing meat, and pressure canning. Now, I’ll go ahead and say it now; I do not see myself expanding into sewing anytime soon. I can sew a reasonably straight line, and I managed to crank out dozens of face masks for friends and neighbors in 2020, but sewing is not my jam. At all. Too much precision required for my chaotic ass. Take that disclaimer as you will.

Back to the hows/whys. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from this initiative is that nothing occurs in a vacuum. In a predictable turn that surprises no one but me, learning about one thing opens doors through which, by extension, lead to more. When I became obsessed with barbecue/smoking a few years ago, I ended up learning about sustainable meat production, butchering and cuts of meat and how they are best used, geographic flavor profiles in barbecue, the science of various smoker constructions, etc. This is what first led me to look locally for sustainably produced meat. So, my point is that small steps continue to lead me to new skills.

As I continue with these projects, I feel more connected to our home, the community, and the importance of traditions. Personally, I feel a lot of satisfaction in understanding the how’s and why’s, in being able to create, and knowing that when the zombie apocalypse comes, I could probably land a safeguarded spot in the survivor’s camp. Just kidding, but it’s a nice fictional perk, don’t ya think? Also, the kids see me researching, doing, and sometimes failing; I hope the takeaway for them is an attitude that they can figure out new things, “hard” things, if they really want to.

Well, that’s enough homemaking musings for today. I’ve got a pork belly that’s about to become bacon, and doesn’t that sound like fun?

 

 

 

Super-Bowl Recipe Brainstorming for the Big Game We Probably Can’t Watch

Y’all, I’ve about had enough of this crap.

So, my local TV station is in an epic battle with DirecTV, one that has been waging for at least five months. As such, we will not have access to the Super Bowl, because the NFL has broadcasting rights locked down tighter than a pop star’s conservatorship. I’m trying to figure out a work-around so the guys don’t riot, but in the meantime, I need to come up with some food ideas because, frankly, I’m a wee bit burnt out. Even after the holiday hustle and bustle, we’ve still had a steady stream of guests or events this past month, as well as pesky Heathens who get hungry with frustrating regularity. But alas, tradition beckons, and I need to come up with some kind of plan. So, let’s do a bit of brainstorming, shall we?

I’m 99% sure I will make my Bacon Cheeseburger Eggrolls, because they are a universal hit. As much as I hate frying crap while I’m entertaining, game day is the exception to that rule. If I go this route, I will probably serve it with some version of a “come back” sauce, similar to this one:

Bourbon Meatballs are always a good possibility, especially since I can make them in my sleep at this point:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The Sausage and Black-eyed Pea Mini Muffins:

Looking around the internet, I found a few ideas we have tried in the past that may be worth a revisit:

These Hot Brown Party Rolls from Southern Living were a welcome change from the usual ham/Swiss concept that we usually make, and they are easy and filling. By now, everyone has also recovered from their post-holiday turkey overload, so it’s a good option.

Hot Brown Party Rolls

The Cheese Dreams were a big hit at Christmas, especially with warm marinara on the side. They are labor-intensive in prep, but can be assembled ahead of time and frozen, so it’s just bake and serve at party-time:

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve had these Crawfish Boulettes and it might be worth revisiting. If I’m frying the egg rolls anyway, might as well. But just remember, if you are frying any fish or shellfish, fry it last or in a separate oil vat. Fish/shellfish permeates frying oil, and Mom’s golden rule when catering was one fryer for fish, one of the other stuff, and DO NOT CROSS THE STREAMS. Unless you like your chicken wings with a faint fishy flavor, that is.

Crawfish Boulettes With Creole Tartar Sauce

Finally, for the Crawfish Boil last weekend, I made these Spicy Sausage Balls from my CCTT post from last year, but instead of two pounds of sausage, I used one pound of the hot sausage and one pound of ground beef. I baked the balls at 400 for 20 minutes before adding them to the sauce. I got big thumbs up all around so they may have an encore this weekend:

Well, I still need to noodle on the menu more, but at least I have some ideas, plus queso and store-bought dips and wings to consider.

Now, let’s just hope I can find the game somewhere, lest they suggest…gulp…a Sportsbar alternative. If that happens, well…let’s not borrow trouble yet.

 

 

Checking in on Those 2023 Intentions- A January Review

It’s already February 1st y’all, and for the first time in a hot minute, I ended January on a very high note. I don’t know what lit the fire under my ass this year as opposed to the past several, but I’ll take it. I’ve seriously settled in to my 2023 intentions, and I feel like a new penny as my grandmother used to say. So, let’s take a look back at this month and review:

Health/Personal

  • I’m trucking along on this one and the results are evident. I did Dry January, and the improvements in my energy, sleep, anxiety, and mood were off the charts. So, it looks like a 90-95 percent reduction of the hooch is the plan going forward.
  • I worked out 5 days a week (except once when I had to support my neighbor during a hospital stay), and watched/recorded what I ate. As a result, I lost 11 dang pounds!
  • I reduced my phone/scrolling time by about 50 percent, and I think there still room for improvement there.
  • Finally, I stuck to my “Three to Thrive” and hit my target every day. I defined these as skincare, hitting my water goals, and taking my meds and vitamins every day. Good times, all around.

Kitchen 

I have been rocking it in the kitchen, which is making the Husband and Heathen’s very happy.

Books

I read six books this month, (not pictured is a romance, Twisted Games that I read on my Kindle).

  • When in Rome-Cute, lighthearted, low-stakes romance loosely based on the movie Roman Holiday, but with a happy ending. Fluffy beach read.
  • The Comfort Food Diaries-a memoir of recovering from toxic family and alcoholism by travelling to friends and extended family, cooking, reconnecting, and letting go. Kind of an Eat, Pray, Love vibe. I liked it overall, but felt some parts were rushed/glossed over that made the pacing a little uneven. Otherwise, I enjoyed it.
  • Heart Bones-I thought this was ok, but not my favorite by this author. Damage childhoods and coming of age romance typical for this author, but uneven character development in my opinion.
  • Other Birds-I’m biased because I love Sarah Addison Allen novels. A little magic realism, uncovering secrets of the past, finding a place to call home, beautiful settings.
  • Abandoned in Death-Despite how formulaic these books have become, I’ll always come back to them. This one, however, was better than some recent volumes.
  • Twisted Games-Steamy princess/bodyguard romance, ’nuff said. It was the second book I’ve read in this series. It was ok enough that I’m on the third, so take that for what it’s worth. Not shouting from the rooftops about it though.

Fiber Arts

  • Still working on that damn sweater, but I am about 30% through the second sleeve, so the finish line is in sight. I also wound the yarn I ordered to hopefully finish my Shift cowl once the fu%&ing sweater is complete. So, that fits under my intention to finish at least two WIPs this year.
  • I got my spinning wheel set up and tried to practice with the Malabrigio Nube fiber I ordered, and promptly felt like an abject failure. I watched dozens of videos and could not figure out why I was struggling so much. Well, a little time on Ravelry promptly educated me as to why this particular fiber needs to be pre-drafted into submission. Because if the dyeing and prep, parts were damn near felted, and the rest was compacted like crazy. So, pictured above is how it arrived, versus several hours of pre-drafting. It also shows that the dye only hit the outer layers of the fiber, and there was a lot more undyed than the braid would lead you to believe. Now that it’s (in theory) workable, I’m going to try again later this week.
  • Made progress on the Christmas stocking, but will need to pick up the pace if I want it done in time to submit it for finishing, thus making it ready by the holidays.
  • Best part? We booked our hotel for Rhinebeck, aka New York Sheep and Wool Festival in October! This means I’ll have to miss DFW Fiber Fest this year, but I’ll somehow survive. Excited doesn’t even begin to cover it.

So, that’s the January Recap. I’m using my Commit30 planner to its fullest, which helps me keep track of how I’m doing. Highly recommend, as always. Now, I need to keep the momentum going.

So, wrapping it up, it’s February, and we are deep into Mardi Gras season, and crawfish are coming on (though it’s still a little early so prices are a little high). I better pick up a King Cake before Friday, because the Heathens may riot soon, and we have a crawfish boil/oyster roast fete to attend this weekend. Now, if I could just figure out what I need to bring, but that’s a conversation for another day.

Finished Knit–Bounce Baby Blanket

As much as I now fall into the “selfish” knitter category (otherwise known as “knit-worthy peeps are few and far between”), I make an exception for babies. One of my cousins is due with her second baby soon, so it was blanket-knitting time. Since I was in the mood for color, I opted for this pattern from Tin Can Knits, using a mini-skein kit from Rainbow Heirloom. Now that I finished it, I’m ready to settle into West Knits MKAL.

Pattern: Bounce by Tin Can Knits, available for purchase on Ravelry.

Yarn: Rainbow Heirloom Sweater in the Sunshine and Storm Kit

Needles: US 7

Notes and Mods: I followed the pattern as written but reordered the kit stripes to my preference. Rather than dark to light, I wanted a dark-light-dark effect. Otherwise, this is a super-easy pattern that is infinitely customizable, and a great way to use up mini-skeins. Tin Can Knits are known for their well-written, trusted patterns, and as always, this delivered. Overall, two thumbs up on this project.

Creamy Garlic-Herb Tomato Tartelettes

It’s no secret I was on the struggle bus this holiday season. By the time I hit New Year’s Day, I was so dang tired of cooking, while also trying to balance menus for various events. When I was planning on what to bring to the family Christmas party, I knew I was sick of the usual dishes and wanted something different. However, when I bring food to large parties, I have to follow the basic rules of etiquette: nothing that requires reheating, an electric outlet, or assembly in the host’s kitchen. They already have their hands full, so commandeering counter space or a stovetop burner is a big no-no.

So, in my abject laziness and apathy, I dove deep into my fridge and came up with a super-simple, yet tasty and beautiful appetizer. These Garlic-Herb Tomato Tartelettes combine ready-made garlic-herb cheese spread with a touch of cream, which is scooped into frozen phyllo tart shells. The mixture is then topped with sliced cherry tomatoes and parmesan and baked until nice and hot. A drizzle of balsamic glaze finishes them off. These can be served warm or at room temperature. If you need a quick, easy appetizer, this fits the bill.

Creamy Garlic-Herb Tomato Tartelettes

Print Recipe Pin Recipe
Prep Time 15 minutes
Cook Time 15 minutes
Course Appetizer

Ingredients
  

  • 2 1.9 ounce boxes of frozen phyllo tart shells (approx. 15 shells per box)
  • 1 6.5 ounce container garlic & herb soft spreadable cheese (such as Alouette brand) room temperature
  • 1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
  • 3/4 to 1 pint cherry tomatoes halved
  • 1/2 cup parmesan cheese grated
  • 1/4 cup botted balsamic glaze
  • chopped basic for garnish, if desired

Instructions
 

  • Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Place tart shells on a baking sheet.
  • In a medium bowl, combine cheese spread and whipping cream until smooth. Spoon about a heaping teaspoon of cheese mixture into tart shell and top with two of the tomato halves. Sprinkle tarts with parmesan cheese.
  • Bake tarts for 12-15 minutes, until hot, being careful not to burn the tart shells. Remove tarts from oven and let cool for 2-3 minutes. Lightly drizzle tarts with balsamic glaze and garnish with chopped basil if desired. Enjoy!

Notes

This may make more or less tarts depending on how heavy-handed you are when distributing the filling. 
Tried this recipe?Let us know how it was!

Stepping Gingerly into the New Year…But At Least There Will Be Cake

Whelp, we made it through the holidays, and though they were full of fun times and togetherness, I confess I was ready for the new year. I am more than happy for things to slow down so I can focus a little more inward. I love the holidays, I really do, but it’s been busy, and there’s always something externally to focus on–planning, cooking, shopping, list-making, and task after task that goes with the season. Honestly, I think we are all a little tired and rough around the edges, and it doesn’t seem like relief is on the horizon anytime soon. As the pandemic drags on, it’s hard not to feel disillusioned and mentally fried.

As I’ve posted before, I don’t necessarily think resolutions are a four-letter word, and this year especially, I’ve been taking a hard look about the common theme when it comes things I need to work on. This year, rather than a specific goal, like a 5k, diet, or other drastic change, I realized that a lot of things I need to work on come down to a simple question:

“Will this make me feel good?”

I know, it sounds counterintuitive toward improvement when vices are aplenty. But really, that’s what it boils down to for me. I’ve been working on an internal dialogue during the day that is helping me self-reflect when I’m making small choices, For example:

  • “Is all that scrolling on social media apps making you feel good? Actually, you usually end up feeling anxious or checked out, and like you’ve wasted so much time. You know what does make you feel good? Reading and knitting. Isn’t that the better choice for this bit of free time?” (I have since deleted several (not all) apps, and you would not believe how much better I feel mentally and emotionally).
  • “Is skipping your workout going to make you feel good? Actually, you always feel better after a workout, even a small one, and like you are letting yourself down when you don’t. Do you really want the self-disappointment voice nagging the back of your mind all day? You know the better choice here.”
  • “Yeah, another cocktail sounds great, but will that make you feel good? Nope, it will zap your energy and wreck your tomorrow. Water will set you up for more energy in the morning.”
  • “The pantry looks like the Ghostbusters just exercised a demon in it. It’s overwhelming to tackle today, but you can set a 30-minute timer and commit for that much. Doing anything will make you feel better than nothing.”

I know it sounds silly, but the simple act of consciously reminding myself that I feel soooooo much better when I am choosing even the smallest of better choices helps build momentum. For example, after tackling the Mount Everest of post-holiday laundry this week, I had a few extra minutes to spare. After looking at the pile of clean napkins, I thought, “Ya know, if I just go ahead and iron these now before I put them away, that’s one less thing to do next time we entertain.” So, I did. Small victories and all that.

It’s hard to imagine what this year will look like but working on small steps feels doable. That’s what I’m telling myself, at least. The bright side? Epiphany is tomorrow…and you know what that means? It’s Mardi Gras kick-off baby, and I foresee king cake and crawfish in my future.

 

Back to School! Oh Happy Day!

I can’t believe this day is finally here. The day the younger Heathens finally go back to school, like in-person, not-in-my-house school. They haven’t been in a classroom with their peers since March 13th, 2020. That’s a long ass time. A loooooooonnnnnngggg ass time.

As much as I have moaned and groaned about how freaking of a hot mess this year was, I am self-aware enough to know that I will look back and be grateful for this time. We spent more time together as a family in the past year than ever, and were able to take unique opportunities that we never would have been able to had we been tethered to classrooms/offices. I avoided the dreaded carpool lines, enjoyed mostly unstructured days, and didn’t have to roll out of bed until after seven everyday. On the flipside, that’s a whole lot of togetherness. Like, a lot.

So, Bean is headed to 4th grade while Bear is, *gulp*, a SENIOR. How in the hell did that happen? My sweet little freckle-faced baby had his last first day today. It still feels surreal, but then again, the last sixteen months have felt strange and unsettled.

Well, if you will excuse me, I have a few glorious hours to myself. I’ll try to keep the happy dancing to a minimum.

 

Changes, Summer Travels, and Catching My Breath

Whelp, we limped across the virtual schooling finish line, not with a bang but a whimper. No rocking out to Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out for Summer” in the carpool line as is our tradition, but rather a heavy sigh that this chapter is hopefully, maybe, possibly, better-be-or-my-liver-can’t-handle-it closed. My two youngest kids have not been in the classroom since March 13th of 2020, and while they made virtual school work and received excellent grades, I think we can all agree that no one wants to experience a repeat of this academic year. It’s weird to think that a few years from now, some doctoral candidate will publish a study on just how this pandemic turned a generation of learning on its head.

Now that 80 percent of our household is vaccinated, life is returning damn-near normal. After school concluded, I called my friend who is also a travel agent and had her throw together a quick, impromptu vacation for us. We ended up in Jamaica! This was our first family trip outside of the states, and it was both fun and educational. I learned so much along the way, while also realizing how much I need to learn.

We swam with dolphins and went snorkeling, tubing, and deep sea fishing. After all of the missed milestone celebrations last year, this trip was a blessing and the perfect summer vacation for the family.  The voyage back to Louisiana had its hiccups, but after the past year, well, perspective has become something we strive to maintain.

While we still have a lot more summer to go, it’s difficult not to think ahead of how much our days will change when the Heathens are back in the classroom this fall. We will be back to carpool lines, school lunches, routines, and socializing, but I’m not naïve enough to believe that we will all make the transition seamlessly. I’m mentally preparing myself for how tired they will be resuming full schedules and being more active. Also, Bean’s virtual learning only took up about 4 hours of the day, so she is used to large sections of free time between lessons. Will they be ostracized from their old friends and peers after being home for the year? We shall see, I suppose.

Meanwhile, I’ll be over here canning and counting down the days.

PSA–pssssst. The Halloween décor is hitting the shelves at places like At Home. If you know, you know.

 

 

My Favorite Planner of All Time

**Remember, my blog is not sponsored or monetized in any way. No link in my posts is an affiliate link, and these ideas are all my own. None of these companies know who I am, and all of this is crap I buy with my own dang money. I’m just not that cool, y’all**

So, when I was writing my 2020 favorites post earlier this week, I totally forgot to add my absolute favorite planner of all time from Commit30. I’ve tried so…many…planners. Seriously, including the ever-popular Happy Planner system, and none of them ever stuck with me. They were either too niche, or felt like an art project rather than a tool for efficiency.

This is the one that just ticks all of the boxes for me. It focuses on goals and the action steps you plan to take to get there, be they health, personal, professional, and on the yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily basis. It also makes you think about accountability, and be honest about why you did not reach your goal. After a tumultuous 2020, I am ready to focus on some specific positive changes.

2021 Day Planners

I’m going to share some images from their site so you can see why I love this. My planner contains too may personal details to share my pics with you (y’all don’t want to know when I change the cat litter or get my allergy shots), but I promise, you should check this company out, specifically their social media accounts where you can see more detailed pics and videos.

annual weekly Day Planner inside

While they also offer digital options, I’m still an old school paper gal, so that’s what I order. I’m on my third year of this planner, and though I’m probably jinxing 2021 by having the audacity to buy one, I’m still went for it.

So, just an update to my favorites’ post. As the song says, maybe this year will be better than the last.