Living in the land of boys, I’ve learned that I should never leave my house without being well-equipped. Whether I stock my purse, my car or my pockets, I have a list of things that stand between me and insanity. Woe to the Mama who forgets the following:

• Hand sanitizer. Lots and lots of hand sanitizer. Boys can be gross enough, but out in public, they will find the grossest, germ-filled things to touch and explore. And then they will promptly put their hands in their mouths or noses.
• Ear phones. These do double duty; either I force the heathens to wear them while they play their annoying handheld video games, or I wear them with my iPhone to drown out the noise . Both methods save their Gameboys from being tossed out of the car window at 50 mph.
• Neosporin and a Band-Aid or two. Boys find ways to hurt themselves even in the most innocuous of environments.
• A bribe. Whether it is a special snack, Coke money or Pokémon cards, I need something to hold over their little heads in return for good behavior.

I think probably the best tool, however, is a strong sense of humor. Inevitably, they will embarrass me in some form or another with regularity, be it announcing to all of Wal-Mart what kind of cocktails I drink, or repeating a foul word they got from my unfortunate potty-mouth.

Living in the land of boys, I learned to check my modesty at the door a long time ago.