I was off work today.

In theory, I had laundry to do, floors to clean, closets to organize and a plethora of other things to accomplish.

Unfortunately for my to-do list, work has been extra-busy lately, and keeps me fairly close to the loony bin. Therefore, when I do have a day off like today, I am hard-pressed to do anything other than be a bum. Though I did clean the kitchen, buy the groceries and make the bed, I also devoted an inordinate amount of time to drinking coffee and watching TV shows I am too embarrassed to admit I watch.

I need my very own housewife, because the hardest thing about being a working mom is that I still have all the things to do that I did when I was a housewife. Now, I just have to do them when I am not doing my full-time, high-stress job. Even grocery shopping is a production these days, just ask the heathens. They want to know why I can’t do it at night, so they don’t have to spend part of their day off doing something so lame.

Ha…Ha…mwhahaha!

If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got two kids who are about to learn a valuable lesson.