Defense Mechanisms

A few months ago, I purchased my new laptop. I wanted it to be about the brightest shade of pink I could find, and sure enough, it looks like something out of the movie Legally Blonde. It’s pink, it’s paisley and it even has a pink mouse to match. My friend J, who is definitely not a girly-girl, looked at me like I was crazy. Why, she wanted to know, would I ever buy something so atrociously hideous? Aren’t I a little old for a Barbie-pink computer?

The answer, my friends, is obvious. I live in a house full of boys, and they are addicted to any and all things electronic. By making my laptop the most girly-looking object possible, I insured that both my husband and heathens would never ask to borrow it, play with it or even touch it.

Genius, I know. J, however, was still skeptical.

Last week, we got J a very nice ping-pong paddle for her birthday. See, my husband, J’s husband, J and I all have cocktails and play ping-pong together when we have a free evening. Everybody is pretty competitive, and we even argue about who gets which side of the table.

 As soon as J opened the swank new paddle, both my and J’s husbands got an envious gleam in their eyes. Surely, they could use it too?

J turned to me and suggested we get a Bedazzler, a pink marker and emblazon the handle with the words “Princess Paddle.”

She learns quickly.

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