For These Small Victories…

Over the past couple of days, reality set in that I just can’t get everything done, all at once, all the time. I’m not complaining, because I knew a baby would be a game-changer. However, with the sleep-deprivation making me loopy, my OCD fretting over the floors that need vacuuming, and new mom instincts telling me I need to be snuggling/feeding/carrying Bean more, I’m a little on edge. I know it’s just a matter of time before I find the groove, but that restless feeling that I need accomplish more, no matter what I’m actually doing, is a voice I need to silence.

In the meantime, I’ve had two small victories this week. The first is actually not such a small victory. Bean’s two-week check-up was yesterday. As a nursing baby, our goal was to see Bean regain the post-delivery weight loss; so, we wanted her to tip the scales at her 6lb, 13oz birth weight.

Not only did she regain her birth weight, Bean put on an additional pound on top of that. For a mom with a past of nursing frustrations and failures, that is a major accomplishment. She is thriving and I confess, I honestly felt like high-fiving the doctor…or at least doing the happy-dance.

My second major victory this week was that I also made it to the park for my first post-baby workout. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but yeah, I was that pregnant girl. About two seconds after the test was positive, I threw diet and exercise out of the window, and spent the next nine months eating…and eating…and eating. I basically used pregnancy as an excuse to indulge in every food I had been missing.

Alas, those actions came with consequences. I put on an embarrassing amount of weight, especially when I realized that Bean only made up about 1/10th of that. Now that I’m back on my feet, I’m ready to remedy this.

Having already been down this road before, I’m sticking with my philosophy of starting any fitness endeavor oh-so-small. My goal for the next two weeks is to walk 30 minutes every day…no more, no less. While I’ll try to challenge myself with the pace, I will also take care not to overdo anything, because that’s what leads to discouragement and failure.

So, these victories may seem trivial to you, but to a sleep-deprived, OCD-crazy, guilt-ridden mess of post-partum hormones, they feel absolutely epic.

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