The Cabbage Experiment—How I Cooked This Devil-Spawn Vegetable and Actually Liked It

For New Years Day, my husband and I decided to stack the deck and ate dang nearly every superstitious food we could get our hands on:

We need better luck than we had last year, so we were all about feasting on anything that might bring us some good fortune, like pork chops, hoppin’ john and such. One of the foods that my husband specifically requested was cabbage…stinky, weird, I-have-never-cooked-that cabbage. Call me persnickety, but cabbage hasn’t ever crossed into my cooking repertoire, and I’ve never had the burning urge to change that fact. After a quick consultation with Granny, I made my first attempt at cooking cabbage in a way that anyone in this house would have any chance in hell of eating. Here’s how I did it (and to tackle this beast, you will need a head of cabbage, about five slices of good bacon, salt and pepper):

I started with a head of cabbage, and made ugly faces at it just to make myself feel better:

Next, I cut off the bottom section so that the head of cabbage would sit flat on my cutting board while I made more faces at it and made inappropriate Cabbage Patch Kid jokes.

 

 

Then I cut it in half (Holy Crapadoodle, cabbage is ugly):

Then cut it some more:

Then I spent a good while looking at the cabbage and formulating a plan that may actually get me to choke this stuff down, and my solution was to pick it apart, and discard any parts that looked like something I wouldn’t eat:

Next, I chopped about 5 slices of thick-cut bacon (dude, I never said this was healthy cabbage):

I tossed the bacon in a skillet and cooked it on medium heat until it was kind of done but not crispy yet:

And I tossed it the cabbage with plenty of salt and pepper to taste:

I covered the skillet and cooked the cabbage on medium heat, stirring occasionally. I waited until the cabbage really cooked down and looked edible, which took about 20-25 minutes for me. And….Ta-da!

Now only did I eat the cabbage, I actually loved it. My husband said our New Year’s lunch may have been the best food he’s eaten in his entire life, which is saying something coming from Sir Picky-Pants.

So, if you are a cabbage newbie, it’s worth giving this method a try. After all, both my sister-in-law and I noted that you can probably eat anything if it’s cooked in enough bacon.

2 thoughts on “The Cabbage Experiment—How I Cooked This Devil-Spawn Vegetable and Actually Liked It

  1. LOL this is the first time a recipe has ever made me laugh. (The title of this entry really sucked me in.) For one, I love cabbage, but at one time, I regarded it with mistrust and downright disdain, too. But my grandmother’s cabbage casserole changed me (cabbage, butter, cheese, breadcrumbs – YUM) and ever since then, I find ways to incorporate it into my diet. I do have to disagree about it’s appearance, though – it’s actually kind of pretty!

    • Thanks Rachel! I don’t think I’ll be making coleslaw any time soon, but at least it was one more vegetable my husband will actually eat!

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