Baby

Leaving on a Jetplane…

In a couple of days, the Heathens and I will be flying to northern California for vacation, and to hang with my parents. My poor husband can’t go, because he has too much going on at work this month, especially after taking off a few weeks for Bean’s birth.

I’m sure I’ll have plenty of hijinks to report, as the Heathens take their first plane ride, see their first mountain and experience the world outside of our small Louisiana town. I’m also sure the TSA will be thoroughly entertained by our circus, as I try to get two kids, a baby, a stroller, a car seat, various carry-on luggage and myself through the security line. Luckily, they sell cocktails in airports…lots and lots of cocktails…

Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to get Bean ready for the trip. Since we’ll be going to an area that is much cooler (and windier) than our current 95 degrees, she needs warm clothes. I’ve found a few things in the clearance sections, but finding a warm hat in Louisiana, in June, proved to be too much of a challenge. I finally surrendered and knitted her one:

It’s not perfect, but it will keep her noggin covered.

I start the packing odyssey today, so send chocolate…and margaritas…and positive traveling mojo.

Kung Fu Fighting

Bean doesn’t like it if I try to take her picture when she is in a bad moon.

Oh no…here come the Hulk hands…

I bet she’s thinking, “Back off lady, now is NOT the time.”


“Seriously, you’re going to make me angry…you won’t like it when I get angry”


“Say hello to my little friend!”


“It’s on like Donkey Kong now!”


But then I feed her, and we are cool again. She’s easily bribed, this one.

The Anatomy of a Smile

Our internet has been down this week. After my husband tried a little home improvement on our internet, we ended up with a mangled phone line and no phone or internet for several days. Two kids, one husband and no internet? That’s another definition of Chinese water torture, if you ask me.

In the meantime, Bean had her two month check-up (as well as three shots and an oral vaccine), and she is absolutely perfect.

In the meantime, I finally managed to catch a smile.

Wait for it…

Almost…

Oh Dear God..

The cuteness!

Yep, she’s perfect, alright.

 

When Too Much Information is a Bad Thing

It’s only taken me several weeks too many, but I’ve come to the realization that too much information can be a very bad thing. Especially when it comes to parenting.

I had the Heathens in my early twenties, and I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I basically flew by the seat of my pants, and I’m sure I made plenty of mistakes along the way. I fumbled my way through early motherhood, and counted each day a success if everyone ended up fed and in moderately clean clothes.

In retrospect, I feel like I could have avoided certain frustrations if I had only done things differently; for example, maybe I could have bypassed the picky toddler food wars if I had given the boys more table food from the start, and less of the jarred stuff. When all the other moms were structuring their kids’ playtime, I confess I often told my kids to go play and let them be. I wasn’t overly proactive, and if anything, I was really put off by the intensity of the hyper-parents we saw at t-ball practice (in fact, we quit t-ball shortly after watching parents argue about which three year-old was going to play first base). Still, as the boys got older, I wondered if maybe my inexperienced laissez-faire approach to parenting kept my kids from being all they could be. I still fretted, as does any new mom, but I didn’t really know enough about raising kids to worry about half as much as I could have. Little did I know that a modicum of ignorance was actually a good thing.

When I got pregnant with Bean, nearly ten years later, I was oh-so-determined to do things better than I had before. I read, and read and then I read some more. I poured over Dr. Sears books and spent hours on the internet soaking in all of the latest trends that promised to give us the smartest, healthiest, most well-adjusted baby. I was going to be ready this time…hell, I was going to be Supermom. I would be armed with information, do everything right and breeze through Bean’s babyhood with confidence.

Ha…ha…mwahahahaha!!!

You want to know what all that reading really did? It made me neurotic. I spent the first weeks of Bean’s life fretting, and fearing, and plagued with insecurities. I worried I wasn’t holding Bean enough, feeding her enough, or engaging her enough. I feared the smallest misstep would damage the perfect bond that those Dr. Sear’s books claimed we were supposed to have. And dear God, if she was crying, I better be holding her, lest I damage her little psyche with feelings of abandonment. I had to be the perfect parent, even if it came at the expense of my common sense and sanity. Instead of relaxing and trusting my instincts, I was destroying my confidence as a mom with an overload of “expert” parenting advice.

Now that my post-partum insanity is finally waning, I’ve remembered something very important. I raised this guy:

And this one:

And they’ve turned out just fine, if I do say so myself. I did without a pile of parenting books, or endless internet searches. My husband and I did it by being ourselves, and not by trying to follow someone else’s manual for how to raise our kids.

I don’t want to be the mom that is so paralyzed by fear of screwing up her kids that she can’t enjoy their childhood. So, the Dr. Sears books headed to the donation pile and I’m going to spend less time worrying and more time enjoying this:

 

Six Weeks Old and the Two Baby Products I Couldn’t live Without

Bean is six weeks old today!

After spending a fortune on baby stuff, we’re getting an idea of what we love, what was a waste of money and what we couldn’t live without.

Let me tell ya a little bit about this:

This was the best $15 I spent. When I first bought this timer gadget, my husband looked at me like I was an insane waster of money. After all, we have iPhones and they do everything, right? However, unlocking our password-protected iPhones and waiting for apps to load takes time…precious seconds we don’t have when juggling a newborn. I admit, this gadget is so ridiculously simple in concept that it seems unnecessary. But, as our entire family will tell you, I now live with the Itzbeen timer. This thing was a lifesaver in the hospital. I could keep track, at a glance, of how long it had been since Bean ate, since we changed her diaper and even since I had my pain medication. When I was recovering from surgery, this was my mental back-up when pain and sleep deprivation clouded my brain. Six weeks later, I still use this 24/7.There’s no fiddling or fussing. I just push the appropriate button, and the timer for that particular activity resets so, two sleep deprived hours later, I know how long it’s been. I don’t have to use up valuable post-partum brain power doing the math or trying to remember when I last fed her, changed her, or gave her medicine. It even has a flashlight so I’m able to find the pacifier at night without waking her up. Also, my husband can instantly see where we are at in Bean’s schedule. If she’s crying and I’m in the shower, he can check the timer and know instantly whether she’s hungry or just fussy. So yeah, it was $15 well spent.

As for baby carriers, I researched, over-analyzed, and finally bought both the Moby:

And the Ergo:

They both had top ratings and awesome reviews, and I assumed we would use them both. Sadly, the Moby was a disaster for us. My husband and I tried to figure it out, read the instructions repeatedly, and watched the videos online. Even with extensive practice, we just could never finagle it. Bean was always so awkwardly positioned that we spent the entire time checking and adjusting her. Also, the Moby was too much of a pain in the rear to use. After dragging the tails through the Target parking lot as I tried to put it on, I finally conceded that the Moby just wasn’t for us. Even if we had been able to figure it out, I don’t think that the layers of heavy fabric are practical for the hot, humid Louisiana weather.

The Ergo, however, is the BEST. Either my husband or I use it every day. It’s a piece of cake to get on and off, and to get Bean in and out of. I use it when we shop, go to the library and just about everywhere else. My husband often calms a fussy Bean by strapping on the Ergo and walking laps around our house. Our Ergo was an investment, but six weeks later, I would buy it again in a heartbeat.

So, that’s the skinny on our first round of baby products. The jury is still out on the rest of Bean’s stuff, but I’ll let ya know.

Unsolicited Advice—Why Is My Baby Your Free Pass for Intrusive Behavior?

We’ve had a rough few days around here. Bean is not a happy camper, and has taken to throwing epic fits that are reminiscent of Demon-Baby. I finally dragged my semi-hysterical self to the pediatrician yesterday, and came out with a revised feeding plan, reflux medicine, and a definitive timeline for testing the theory that Bean has tummy troubles. If that doesn’t work, I’ll suck it up and accept the dreaded colic explanation.

Prior to my desperate doctor visit, I’ve learned that every Tom, Dick and Harry I pass on the street thinks they know more about my kid than I do. To add insult to injury, they feel compelled to share with me their infinite wisdom on how to fix my crying baby, using their Google medical degree.

Case-in-point #1:

Right about check-out time at Target the other day, Bean erupted into full-on screaming. The lady behind me, who clearly was a mother who had been in my situation, kept her mouth shut and simply offered to load an unwieldy box into my cart…God bless her. However, between the check-out line and the door, I was stopped by no less than five people to inquire about my screaming infant, then offer me their arm-chair diagnosis of what she needed.

“No, my baby is not hungry.”

“Why yes, she is pissed off. Thank you for that astute observation.”

“No, she doesn’t need her diaper changed.”

“No, she is not in need of a nap.”

“Yes, I’m sure *insert zany advice here* worked well for you, but I’ve got it covered…thanks.”

“No, I don’t want to hear about your pregnant daughter-in-law.”

“Can’t you see that you are blocking me from getting my screaming infant out of here???”

Yeah, I was about to end up on the news after that gauntlet. What is it about a baby that makes perfect strangers forget all boundaries, manners and common sense?

Case-in-point #2:

After a night of endless fussing, I took Bean to the park with the hope that fresh air and a few laps in the stroller would do us both some good. Not halfway through our first lap, she let loose with her guttural screams of “nothing you do will make me happy.” Of course, I turned to head back to the parking lot, only to get stopped by three people along the way.

“Somebody must be hungry!” Um, I fed her 10 minutes ago, but I love your insinuation that I’m letting my baby starve while I take a little stroll.

“Did you pinch that baby?” “No, but I’m tempted to pinch you right about now.

“She must be tired!” WHY didn’t I think of that??

Maybe it’s the sleep-deprivation talking, but I’ve had enough unsolicited advice today. To my armchair baby whisperers, please reengage your propriety filters, or you may draw back a nub next time.

*This public service announcement was brought to you by me, the soon to be mayor of Margaritaville*

For These Small Victories…

Over the past couple of days, reality set in that I just can’t get everything done, all at once, all the time. I’m not complaining, because I knew a baby would be a game-changer. However, with the sleep-deprivation making me loopy, my OCD fretting over the floors that need vacuuming, and new mom instincts telling me I need to be snuggling/feeding/carrying Bean more, I’m a little on edge. I know it’s just a matter of time before I find the groove, but that restless feeling that I need accomplish more, no matter what I’m actually doing, is a voice I need to silence.

In the meantime, I’ve had two small victories this week. The first is actually not such a small victory. Bean’s two-week check-up was yesterday. As a nursing baby, our goal was to see Bean regain the post-delivery weight loss; so, we wanted her to tip the scales at her 6lb, 13oz birth weight.

Not only did she regain her birth weight, Bean put on an additional pound on top of that. For a mom with a past of nursing frustrations and failures, that is a major accomplishment. She is thriving and I confess, I honestly felt like high-fiving the doctor…or at least doing the happy-dance.

My second major victory this week was that I also made it to the park for my first post-baby workout. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but yeah, I was that pregnant girl. About two seconds after the test was positive, I threw diet and exercise out of the window, and spent the next nine months eating…and eating…and eating. I basically used pregnancy as an excuse to indulge in every food I had been missing.

Alas, those actions came with consequences. I put on an embarrassing amount of weight, especially when I realized that Bean only made up about 1/10th of that. Now that I’m back on my feet, I’m ready to remedy this.

Having already been down this road before, I’m sticking with my philosophy of starting any fitness endeavor oh-so-small. My goal for the next two weeks is to walk 30 minutes every day…no more, no less. While I’ll try to challenge myself with the pace, I will also take care not to overdo anything, because that’s what leads to discouragement and failure.

So, these victories may seem trivial to you, but to a sleep-deprived, OCD-crazy, guilt-ridden mess of post-partum hormones, they feel absolutely epic.